no matter how hard i tried to store it away in the locked treasure box of times passed and lessons learned,
it still finds its way into the cogitative analysis one tends to slip into during the transitional state of awake and asleep when the loudness of silence is so intense and the tick tock of the seconds hand intrudes the deep chambers of the heart.
As deadly as a creeping virus ready to infect my string of thinking , as natural as a subconscious thought in the back of my mind, as hard to ignore as the tides of the waves that rushes upon the shores bringing with it the memories of those outpoured emotions - anxiousness, excitement, joviality, nonchalance, embarrassment, disbelief, heartache, awestruck, melancholy.
But just as when it came in, it descends back into the vast sea of life recollections where the endless stretch into the horizon intertwines and connects with the canvas of ever-changing clouds. Stays there for a while, but never long enough.
Its a rock that I can't remove, its a weight that compresses down on me leaving me gasping for air, its a shackle that confines me to dwell in my own miseries of foolishly naive expectations of possiblities and consolidation when in reality, nothing but lies and deceits and manipulations for the silly stroking of your own ego when clearly mine was never given the slightest bit of consideration nor a single chance to be redeemed.
maybe, Time is my only lock and key. but, how much Longer do I have to wait. I need to be Freed.
